Pink Hair, Red Blood
by Moonlight Pheonix
Summary: Sakura is forced to make a decision that will undoubtedly change her mortality...or immortality forever. Hidan confronts her with two options. He will kill her or he'll induct her into Jashinism. Unable to stop the Akatsuki member, she becomes a Jashinist and now realizes that death may have been the easier option. And the safer one.
1. Chapter 1: For Your Crimes

**Intro: **

**Hello there! I'm Moon, the author of this fanfiction. Thank you so much for taking the time to even read this. Just a few quick notes before we get started.**

**First, I wanted to apologize greatly for if I upset you with any mistakes in grammar, spelling, jutsu names, or OOCness. Please tell me about any mistakes you find because I would love to fix them for you if possible. Second, I will accept flames for this story because I love getting feedback, even if it's negative criticism. I'm open! I can take it! However, if there is nothing to say in your flames except that you hate the plot or such, please PM me or refrain from doing so. Third, I warn you about cursing. But it's a story with Hidan in it, so I don't really think that I could avoid that.**

**Summary: Sakura is forced to make a decision that will undoubtedly change her mortality...or immortality forever. Hidan confronts her with two options. He will kill her or he'll induct her into Jashinism. Unable to stop the Akatsuki member, she becomes a Jashinist and now realizes that death may have been the easier option. And the safer one.**

**Thanks a bunch! Sakura, before you start hating me for what I'm going to put you through...Disclaimer please!  
**

**Sakura: What the hell are you going to do to me?!  
**

**Moon: It's a secret. But I'll give you a hint. There's blood. LOTS of it.**

**Sakura: Oh dear. Please remember, all characters belong to Kishimoto.**

**Please read, review, and hopefully, enjoy!**

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Chapter 1: For Your Crimes

Sakura's POV

I closed my eyes against the rain, sighing as I stood in training ground three. Why was I even here? It was wet and I really wanted to be inside or off shopping with Ino and I really had to sharpen my kunai and help in the hospital. But here I was nevertheless, standing in the pouring rain, sighing at the world and the rain. Maybe Kakashi-sensei was rubbing off on me a bit in that sense. The never ending sighs that seemed to follow us. Kami, next thing I would be reading that porn series Icha Icha.

Moving slightly, I opened my eyes and sent a chakra-enhanced kick at Naruto as he flew at me. He dodged narrowly, using clones to send a Rasengan towards me. I flipped over it, throwing a wave of senbon at him to distract him.

Pulling out a kunai, I charged forward behind the wave of senbon, harshly driving forward with the blade. He sacrificed a bunshin to stop the kunai and kicked at me, panting slightly as a mixture of sweat and rain rolled down his face. We engaged in a brief bout of taijutsu, blocking each other's kicks and punches with ease.

Training was always worst in the rain. The mud was slick beneath my feet, splattering up to my hips when I ran. The rain decreased visibility and was just plain distracting when it got in my eyes. I jumped backwards, cursing as I slipped slightly upon landing.

Naruto laughed, smiling as he jumped backwards to reanalyze the situation. "Careful over there, Sakura-chan." I was about to retort when something caught my eye; the humongous sword aiming to decapitate my teammate.

"Naruto, Duck!" Naruto hit the ground, diving away from where he'd been standing. A large blade, covered in bandages embedded itself in the tree he'd been standing by, nearly slicing the old oak in half. Kisame Hoshigaki stepped forwards, pulling Samehada out with a single hand. Naruto backed up a bit, eyes widening as he recognized Itachi's former partner. It had been awhile since we'd seen the Kiri-nin.

"Hello, Kyuubi." Kisame smiled, but it wasn't really a smile. It was more like two rows of razor sharp teeth peeking out from his mouth in a slightly upturned manner. There was nothing pleasant about it at all, nothing to qualify it as a smile. "Been awhile, hasn't it?" Naruto glared at him, readying a kunai.

"Naruto, we need to go get help," I said, watching as the shark-like shinobi moved towards Naruto slowly, examining the two of us.

We were at a disadvantage. Not only was he an S-ranked missing-nin and a part of the Akatsuki, but we were tired from training as well. We could never even hope to compete with him when we were in this state. "Naruto," I hissed under my breath, pulling him backwards by the collar of his orange jacket. "Shikamaru and Choji should be at the Naras'. It's not far."

Reluctantly, Naruto nodded, creating seven bunshin. They leapt towards Kisame, shouting something about protection and revenge for mankind. As much I liked Naruto, he really needed to work on shutting up his clones sometimes or at least having them make sense. We leapt for the trees, Kisame dispelling the bunshin with a few waves of his sword. "Sakura, what's the plan?" He asked as we fled, the swordsman hot on our tails.

"We yell for Shikamaru and Choji. They'll come at that or the sounds of a fight. I'll drop back and create a distraction while you keep going with a bunshin henged to look like me. From there, send a bunshin to get help. Don't argue with me. We don't have time," I said, cutting off his protests as we sprinted through the trees. Looking back, I lost a bit of distance, but was able to see that Kisame was gaining, his rabid smile unchanging. I dropped down to the ground, hoping that Naruto would be okay.

Sprinting along the forest floor, I could hear Naruto yelling for his friends. Preparing a kunai in hand, I stopped for a second, eying Kisame warily as he sped off. Running after him, I couldn't help but scream as the ground beneath me gave way.

I dangled over the edge of what seemed like a bottomless hole, Naruto gripping my wrist. "I told you to get Shikamaru and Choji, you baka!" I yelled, trying to find a foothold so I could climb up. I knew I had to conserve my chakra for when I was fighting Kisame, so it looked like this would have to be done the mundane way.

"I couldn't just leave you!" He yelled, trying to reason with me.

"Forget Pinky, Kyuubi. You're fighting with me!" Kisame yelled as he attacked with Samehada. Naruto leapt backwards, away from the sword, trying to drag me with him. I slammed into the wall and released his hand, falling into the darkness.

When I woke, the only sound was the fighting above. Groaning, I reached for my aching head, to find it wet with blood. I illuminated the place as green chakra covered my hands. There was a cavern stretching out in every direction, darkness cowering up against the edges, concealing whatever hid back there.

My entire body ached, but I knew I had to conserve whatever chakra I had left. Looking up, I realized I was at least thirty feet down from where the cavern narrowed to the tunnel I'd fallen through. Even that looked to be another forty feet or so. Someone moved overhead. Shikamaru. Smiling, I realized that he'd finally gotten there to help Naruto.

The chakra died and the darkness invaded again, leaving me in blackness. "Well well well, what fine kunoichi do we have here?" a voice asked haughtily, taunting me from the darkness.

"Who's there?" I asked, deciding to let him introduce himself rather than waste chakra to illuminate someone who could be a complete stranger.

"Hidan." The answer was only a word, but it drudged up so many memories of Kakuzu's autopsy, another so-called immortal. It had been only a month or so, but it seemed like longer. So this was who Shikamaru had taken down, the immortal whom he'd obliterated. Looks like that wasn't exactly true.

"How are you still alive?" I hazarded, head whipping around as my eyes tried to penetrate into the darkness to find the owner of the voice.

"Pieced myself back together. What's it to you, bitch?" He asked, huffing indignantly. But it sounded like he was smirking at my obvious inability to see him.

"That Bastard!" Inner Sakura yelled, longing to thrust a kunai through his chest. I reined my emotions in, taking a calming breath. "My name is Sakura Haruno of Kanohagakure, not bitch. If you've pieced yourself together, what are you still doing here?" I hazarded, wondering why he'd leave himself trapped here.

"Haven't had a chance to break through, though I don't have to worry about that anymore. What the fuck are you doing down here, bitch?" I pointed to the tunnel, eyes widening considerably with fright when the roof began shaking. Even I couldn't survive the collapse and with Naruto fighting Kisame on top, it wouldn't be long before the entire roof caved in.

A couple of rocks fell, the shaking getting slightly worse as the battle continued. Hidan, he'd have no trouble surviving. Me? Might as well offer myself to him as a sacrifice. There was no surviving this, especially when I was so far down.

_So this is it? I'm going to die then? No, there has to be a way out!_ _You can do this! You can get out of here! _My fists clenched in frustration as I stared up at the hole I'd fallen through_. Perhaps if I walked up the sides of the cave? No, the walls are shaky enough as it was. Any more weight and it might bring the entire place down on top of me._ _I can't jump high enough to reach the tunnel. And Hidan's still in here with me. There has to be a way out! I can't die in here!_

The roof shook, more debris falling down around us. _But… at least if I die, I'll take Hidan down with me. Perhaps I should_ _focus more on him? Ino will kill me herself if I don't stop him. I can't let him get out. I have to stop him._

And so I had come to the conclusion that I would sacrifice my life for Konoha. Being realistic, I always knew that I'd most likely die a shinobi death, out somewhere on a battlefield, but I had always dreamed that I'd die a glamorous death. Bleeding out in the arms of a lover as I whispered final goodbyes to him. Rain dripping down to provide a depressing aspect. Something tragically beautiful.

"You know, I'm feeling a bit generous today, considering you gave me a way to escape. Jashin-sama and I have decided to show you a bit of fucking mercy and save your worthless ass. We'll offer you a deal. Besides, we could always use new converts," Hidan said, huffing in amusement.

Well this threw off the plan. What the hell was he talking about? Eyes adjusting to the darkness, I could make out his faint outline as he kneeled down to the ground, appearing to draw something. What was he doing? What did he mean, he was going to save me? New converts? Did he really think I would join his sick and twisted cult? I pulled out a kunai, hoping that I could use it if I had to. It probably wouldn't do anything, but it was a comforting presence anyway.

"We'll give you two options. One, I'll kill you before this place can cave in." My eyes widened, breath catching in my throat as I digested what he said. Shit, this was bad. This was so fucking bad! "Or... I'll make you a Jashinist." I stared, simply overwhelmed by the thought. What?

Become a Jashinist? As in...sacrifice people? Be like Hidan?

I couldn't even speak, frozen without a voice. Either choice was going to be like dying. I couldn't be like Hidan! Not after what he did to Ino and Shikamaru and Choji! But...I didn't want to die!

Hidan stood up, sighing slightly before moving towards me. He shoved me sharply into whatever contraption he'd drawn. I struck out, my kunai making contact with his hand. "Almost as if you're anticipating me, bitch," He said, laughing slightly. He snatched the kunai from my hand, holding me still with a powerful hand on my shoulder. I couldn't move, so paralyzed in a combination of fear and curiosity. He put the kunai close to his face before nodding. "Good, drew some blood."

I looked at him, confused at what he was doing. "Wha–" I was cut off as he shoved the kunai in my mouth. A coppery taste entered my mouth as the blood on the kunai mixed with my own. I spat it out, feeling the slight indent in my cheek. Swallowing, I could feel the slight coppery flavor of his blood go down. I put a hand to my cheek, chakra enveloping my fist as I prepared to punch him in the face. It was one thing for making false promises and another for making me bleed.

The pain through my chest was startling and completely consuming. I choked, looking down to see Hidan's arm sticking through my chest. I coughed, blood spraying onto Hidan's face. But he didn't seem to mind. I screamed, the sound rebounding throughout the entire cavern in a macabre symphony of my own agony. I fell to my knees as Hidan yanked his hand out, opening the wound further. I spat blood onto the floor, falling onto my side. Blood pooled around me, as the wound in my chest kept pumping it out.

My vocal cords gave out, sound cutting off. And then came the silence. And perhaps that was even worse.

The pain was excruciating, to put it mildly. I was in complete and utter agony, unable to move, just endure and hope that it would end soon. Hope that death would come and take me away from the pain. Screw stopping Hidan, at this point, I just wanted it to end. I could barely hear someone calling my name… Naruto? I rolled onto my back, looking up through the tunnel, the small speck of light seeming to greet me. The Naruto bunshin looked at me, eyes widening in terror, before dispensing into smoke. Smoke? Was something burning?

I clutched at my chest, agony beating against me with my heartbeat.

How was my heart still beating?

Why hadn't it just given up and let me die yet?!

Slowly, the pain faded away, granting me relief. For a few seconds, I laid there in silence, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat. I sat up, panting as I brushed back strands of hair stuck to my face. I sighed, noticing a hand outstretched towards me. I took it, getting up, and looked its owner in the face.

It made sense. It all made sense now. Jashin-sama had blessed me with understanding and the visit from his High Priest. "You feel it, don't you? The bloodlust? That fucking wonderful bloodlust," He whispered to me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Of course, most honorable priest of Jashin-sama," I said, feeling my blood stir as the flesh above my heart mended itself. I couldn't help but put a hand to the hole, or lack of hole thereof. It was perfectly smooth, no scar to speak of.

Reverently, I put my hands to the High Priest's chest, spreading my healing chakra through his body, connecting the dismembered body parts. He released the chakra he'd been using to hold himself together. The amount of chakra it cost him to hold himself together had probably been the only thing still keeping him down here. When I found the bastard who did this to the High Priest, how his blood would run!

"It's Hidan, Sakura. You need not deal with fucking formality," I nodded, listening to Hidan intently. "Now go quench your bloodlust, my new sister in Jashin." He formed a foothold with his hand, kneeling down slightly. I jumped up, propelled through the tunnel using a combination of chakra enhanced legs and Hidan's own strength. I landed a few feet away from the hole, eyes searching those in front of me.

"Sakura-chan? You're alive! What happened to your chest? Why are you covered in blood?" one of the targets asked curiously. His yellow spiky hair and orange made him bright, the colors loud and obnoxious. His voice was confused, as if he didn't understand. I observed myself with disinterest, noting that my entire left side was covered with blood, spatters covering the right.

Looking at the other one's targets, there was one that caught my eye. Spiky ponytail, earring, calculating expression. It was him, the one who had attacked Hidan. The one who'd attacked the High Priest of Jashin.

"Shikamaru," I whispered, moving towards him. I lunged towards, catching him off guard. He leapt back, completely lost as to what I was doing. I smiled, beginning to feel the bloodlust pervade my system. Shikamaru pulled out his own kunai, locking it with my own. He leaned closer to me, staring into my eyes.

"What happened down there?" He whispered. I pushed forward, arching up with my kunai so that it caught his cheek. I jumped backwards, inspecting the tip. A drop of blood beaded down the angle of the kunai. I licked it slowly, savoring the metallic taste. The rest of the battle had been suspended as they watched me, Sharky equally as interested. I split my palm with the kunai, blood welling up immediately. I smeared the blood onto the bottom of my foot and placed it in front of me.

"Sakura, what happened down there?!" Shikamaru yelled as I drew my foot around, drawing a circle counter-clockwise. He closed his eyes for a second as he thought, trying to remember where we were, what this reminded him of. His eyes flew open, as he motioned to the large boy next to him. "We're on Hidan's grave!" With a flourish, I finished the triangle, one of its points aiming towards him. "Get her out of the circle, but don't hurt her!" Forming a hand seal, he shot his shadow towards me.

"You shall be a sacrifice for the all powerful Jashin-sama. May he punish you for your crimes against his High Priest," I said coolly, most of my skin darkening to black, a deadly contrast to my pink hair. White lines made themselves visible against my skin, a mock skeleton. I settled my feet slightly apart from each other. Fatty charged towards me, yelling as he followed the shadow. "If you are so eager for death then." Smiling slightly, I drew my kunai and stabbed myself in the stomach, beginning the ceremony.

Shikamaru's shadow dissolved, mere inches from my feet. Fatty froze his assault, gasping slightly. He visibly tensed as he looked back towards Shikamaru. Naruto's eyes grew wide with disbelief, never straying from the wound I had created. Shark Man shook his head, cursing under his breath.

The pain was immense, but I knew that Jashin-sama wouldn't let me die. I stood, quivering slightly as I adjusted to the pain. I panted, tried to ride out the waves of agony that had assaulted me. Shikamaru fared worse with no blessing from Jashin. He looked as if he'd been punched in the gut and coughed, spitting out blood all over the ground. He fell to his knees, gasping for air. Had I hit a lung as well? Fatty ran to Shikamaru, kneeling down as he felt the wound in his stomach. Blood dripped out of his shirt, soaking through his flak jacket quickly. "Bowl her out of the circle, Choji. Get her out. Now. She can't be stopped unless she's out of the circle."

I twisted the kunai in my stomach and he gasped, coughing up more blood onto the ground, he wrapped an arm around his middle, bracing his other arm along the ground. Blood dripped from the corner of my mouth, but I left it there, knowing there would soon be more. "Where would you like to feel the beauty of Jashin-sama next, Shikamaru? Or shall our fun come to a close?"

"We have to get you out of here, Shika," Fatty said, picking his friend up before he ran off with a protesting Nara.

"Get her out of there, Naruto! But don't hurt her!" Shikamaru yelled as he was carried away, coughing blood on his friend's chest. But no distance would separate him from me and the all powerful Jashin.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked, moving towards me warily. As if that could prevent me from sacrificing the Nara to Jashin.

"Great, another Jashinist. As if one wasn't enough. Where did you put that zombie bastard, Hidan?" Sharky asked, sighing as he looked for my companion. I motioned to the hole with my head and he headed over there, jumping down the tunnel to help the immortal out.

"Sakura?" I stared at the orange target, eyes coolly observing him. He was unable to attack, it seemed. He was weak. But Jashin valued him for some reason. I wasn't sure why, but he was important somehow.

But the ceremony had gone on too long. I needed to finish it. I pulled the kunai out of my stomach, gasping slightly.

"Almighty Jashin-sama, accept this sacrifice, so that the world may know you're power, so that you will realize the faith that I have placed in you. I beg that you recognize me as one of your disciples, Jashin-sama! Accept this sacrifice in my name!" I shouted, taking the kunai and burying it in my heart.

The pain was less this time, manageable in comparison. I stood, staring at the frozen blond who was unsure of what to make of me. And then the pain trickled away slowly, leaving behind an ache accompanied with a deep satisfaction. "How wonderful," I said, a smile gracing my face.

I stared at the sky for a second, pure rapture coursing through me. So this is what it felt like. I couldn't describe, so enraptured with the beauty of it all. The pain was gone, replaced by pure ecstasy, pure bliss coursing through my veins. I sighed in wonder as the black color faded from my skin.

Then reality hit me.

I fell to my knees grasping at my sides. "What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?!" I asked, my voice steadily rising from a whisper to a shout of agony. I screamed, unable to put the rising hysteria into thoughts. I had killed Shikamaru. Killed him in the name of the pagan god, Jashin. The god who owned my soul.

I had killed Shikamaru!

Naruto's face was close to mine. He must have run over. "Don't touch me," I said, scrambling backwards in fear. What if I hurt Naruto as well? Who else could I hurt? What the hell was I now?!

I could hear Hidan cursing loudly as he and Kisame extracted themselves from the hole. "Sakura, we have work to do. Let's get the fuck out of here." Hidan's voice carried to me across the near silent battlefield. I looked back at him, eyes wide with terror. My fellow brother in Jashin. Part of me wanted to run, to hide in the farthest place I could. The other part…wanted to bow down and worship him, my High Priest.

"What have you done to her?!" Naruto yelled, crouching in front of me protectively. "What the hell have you done to her, you bastard?!"

"She is a servant of the great Jashin-sama! Get away from her, you motherfucker!" Hidan yelled, coming towards us dangerously fast. Naruto scooped me up in his arms, fleeing the scene as fast he could. Hidan stopped, turning around to leave. I clung to Naruto's jacket, Hidan's last words echoing in my head. "I'll be waiting for you, Sakura."

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**Author's Notes:**

**Alright, so that was Chapter 1. I hope you guys liked it. Please remember to drop me a review or a PM. I don't bite and will try to respond to all of you.**

**And I was having fun thinking up titles, so I decided that at the end of the chapter, I'll post one or two of the ones I came up with. They're all puns on books, plays, and other well known things. Hopefully they'll make you laugh, smile, maybe even groan. And feel free to submit your own! I'll make sure to credit you if yours is chosen and feel free to yell at me if I don't.  
**

**The Masque of the Pink Death- The Masque of the Red Death  
The Priest, The God, and the Kunoichi- The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe**

**Thanks for reading and have a fantastically awesome day!**

**Moon**


	2. Chapter 2: Just Waiting

**Intro:**

**Thanks to _hyuugahinata247, I is a person, cutie1016, Hannah w,_ and ****_The-Real-Princess-of-Wolves_** for reviewing. Thanks to _The All Powerful Genie God, Soaring Demoness, hyuugahinata247, ****__Foxy3000Kitty_, Narutofan3721, **d_ead-jad__e-eyes_****,**_****__ crazycherry459, ****__The-Real-Princess-of-Wolves,_and _xAlexaCullenx _for following this story. And finally, thanks to _Demon Queen 8787, Foxy3000Kitty, Soaring Demoness, The-Real-Princess-of-Wolves,_ and _dead-jade-eyes_ **for adding this to your Favorite Stories List!**

******Summary: Sakura is forced to make a decision that will undoubtedly change her mortality...or immortality forever. Hidan confronts her with two options. He will kill her or he'll induct her into Jashinism. Unable to stop the Akatsuki member, she becomes a Jashinist and now realizes that death may have been the easier option. And the safer one.**

**Moon: Sakura, do the disclaimer!**

**Sakura: Are you going to be mean to me this chapter?**

**Moon: You'll see.**

**Sakura: Someone save me. Moon does not own Naruto. Thank Jashin.**

**Please read, review, and enjoy!**

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Chapter 2: Just Waiting

Sakura's POV

I slowly opened my eyes to the familiar room of the Konoha hospital, so unnaturally white that it was almost blinding even against the dim sunlight that leaked through the clouds. White sheets, white walls, white uniforms, white everything. Why was white the color of a hospital when everything inside it was red with blood, black with death? It was strange, how white was the chosen color when everything inside the hospital was seeking to tarnish the pure color. _Wait… Why am I here?_ And then the previous day came back in a flash. I drew in a shaking breath, completely unsure of what I was going to do.

"Sakura, you're finally awake." I looked to my right, finding Tsunade sitting next to me as she analyzed my hand. She was peering at it from every angle, almost as if she was scared to touch it. Well, I couldn't blame her for that, if she was scared of me.

"What happened after I passed out?" I asked stiffly, a little unsure over whether or not it was a good idea to ask. I sat up, stretching out tight muscles. I must have been out for a couple of hours at least then, possibly even days. But this normally shocking fact seemed to pale in comparison to everything else.

"Naruto brought you to the hospital, completely terrified. He thought you'd died from the way you collapsed. Half the village thinks you're dead," Tsunade said, sighing. Now that had to be a lot of paperwork. "We told everyone that it was just a punctured lung after Kisame attacked you and that he decided to retreat. We told that to your mother as well." I nodded absentmindedly at the cover story, filing it away to remember later.

"I've been too busy working on another case to see you until now, but Shizune has been healing you. Though, apparently there's nothing wrong with you." Her voice betrayed a certain bitterness, leaving me to wonder what she could possibly be so bitter about? "She pulled a kunai out of your heart and you lived. Your skin mended itself within a minute, leaving no mark. You had no injuries despite the huge gashes in your clothing and all the blood, which we tested. It was yours." I winced at the reminder of the blood, closing my eyes in denial. "No scarring, even where there were scars before," She said, leaning back in her chair, eying me strangely. "You are completely healthy. It's like you've never been hurt before."

"What case were you working on?" I asked nervously, trying to ignore her pointed comments while dreading where the conversation was going to turn next.

"Shikamaru Nara. After you attacked him." Sick dread rained down on me. I had finished the ceremony which meant that he had to be…

"How is he?" I asked, pausing slightly as I turned my head downwards to look at my hands. The nurses had taken the opportunity and cleaned me of the blood, but I could still feel it underneath my fingernails, drying, caking itself into the very fabric of my skin.

_Murderer._

"He's alive. Barely." I looked up, shocked. A direct blow to the heart, that had to mean he died. How could he have? "Shikamaru told me what was happening, warned me about your 'ritual' and how you had to finish it. I had barely started healing his heart when you gave the death blow so I was able to save him. It may have shaved a couple of years off his life though." She looked darkly at me, unsure of what to believe, of why her apprentice would attack one of her friends. "What on earth happened?"

I shook my head, unable to talk about it. I picked at my nails, feeling the need to be clean of the blood. My blood. "Sakura, as your Hokage, I order you to tell me what happened." I hesitated for a second, closing my eyes for a second as I, myself, tried to come to terms with this.

"I became a Jashinist," I said, whispering. Perhaps that would appease her. In essence, I wasn't exactly sure what had happened, but I think that's what had happened.

"A what?" She asked quickly, the dark look on her face disappearing with confusion. So she didn't remember what it was. "Sakura, what is that?!" She shook me slightly when I didn't respond, trying to get some sort of answer out of me.

"A religious sect whose members are in the employ of the god Jashin for all eternity. I'm just like Hidan now, immortal." Tsunade looked at me, startled. I put a hand to my mouth, equally startled as the words just flowed out. Trying to mask my sudden distress, I turned my head away, gazing out the window into the rain that refused to stop falling.

"What did Hidan do to you?" She finally asked after a few minutes of tense silence. I didn't respond. "What did that bastard do to you?! Answer me!" She grabbed my hand and I stopped breathing, yanking out of her grasp. I couldn't let her touch me. I couldn't let anyone touch me, for fear of what I would do to them.

_What if i…_

_tried to kill_

_her?_

"Do not insult the High Priest." We both froze. I had not meant to say such a thing, but instinct had made me. "I did not… I…" I trailed off, at a loss for words.

"Sakura. I understand that this is difficult for you, but you must tell me what happened so that I can know how to deal with this situation and whether this will become a problem again." She looked at me earnestly, grabbing at my hand again. I yanked it back, staring at her, terrified.

_What if i…_

_really did kill  
_

_her?_

"Does it really matter?" I finally said, not knowing what was appropriate to say. "I fell down there and then when I came back up, I was this." That was really all there was to it. I didn't get what was so important about what had happened in between that.

"Sakura…" She said, not sure how to continue. Neither of us was sure how to deal with… this, whatever it was.

Fortunately at that time, Shizune came in, saving me from trying to awkwardly explain anything else. "Tsunade-sama, there is an important council meeting today. Do not forget to be there in an hour. " Tsunade nodded, dismissing her assistant. "I'll be back later to come check on you, Sakura!" She called backwards as she left, Tonton running excitedly at her heels.

There was a silence before Tsunade finally asked. "Sakura, what else–"

"Jashin! There is nothing else that I can tell you!" I stopped, realizing what I'd said. I had invoked his name. Shit. And I'd done it by reflex as well, instantly inserting the name much like Hidan. "Jashin-sama, forgive me." Wishing to be on the safe side, I asked forgiveness. Wait… it didn't matter!

"Sakura, he's a pagan god! He means nothing at all! He doesn't exist! You don't have to ask him for forgiveness." I nodded hesitantly, finishing my plea for forgiveness in my mind. Tsunade sighed, calming herself as if she knew that I still prayed to him in my head. "I shall be back later. Get some rest." I nodded, leaning backwards against my pillows. Tsunade enveloped me in a sudden hug. I gasped, startled. "Sakura, I don't know what happened, but I will do everything in my power as Hokage to help you." She stood back up, smiling kindly at me before leaving.

I snuggled into the warm sheets, already adjusted to my body heat. Closing my eyes, I sighed and soon found myself asleep. I would think about everything later. Just let the exhaustion take my body now.

Down Down Down into the darkness.

* * *

However, when I came to next, it was not the Hokage that sat next to me, but a certain Nara attached to an IV. "Shikamaru…" I whispered. After a couple of moments, I finally added, "I'm sorry for nearly killing you." Jashin, it just sounded really awkward. But there was no other way i could really put it.

"Apologies. How troublesome. Don't worry about it, Sakura. I'm alive." He smiled wryly and for a second I thought that I wouldn't have to worry about any persistent questions, but this was a Nara I was talking about. "But can you answer me now? What happened down there?" Shikamaru asked, laziness completely forgotten. I hated this, hated having to tell anyone anything, but if anyone deserved to know, it was him.

"He'd pieced himself together by the time I got there, was holding himself together with chakra. He said that I'd saved him some time by digging a hole for him. When the ceiling started to collapse, he said he would save me. I didn't know what he meant at the time. I was a bit more concerned with the idea of him killing me. He drew Jashin's symbol and pushed me in. He forced me to drink his blood and then… He killed me," I said quietly, putting a hand to my heart, where there should have been an injury. Shikamaru stared at me, eyes calculating quickly. "Brought his hand through my chest and then I guess I just understood about Jashinism. When he sent me back up, I saw you and I had to sacrifice you for your disposal of Hidan."

"Tell me about Jashin," Shikamaru said, forming a circle with his fingers as he thought, carefully avoiding the IV cord.

"He is a god of pain and sacrifice. He demands sacrifice so that he can continue to grow in power and as a reward, he allows me to look past the pain, to see it as pleasure," I said, feeling the answers naturally come to me. It was weird, having all this sudden knowledge in my head.

"Can't you fight back against him? I understand why Hidan wouldn't, but you?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow at me. It made me glad that he at least thought if I could fight back, that I would.

"I can't, Shikamaru. I can't. I just…can't." I shook my head, drawing my knees up under my chin. Why did he have to keep prying?

"And why not?" His voice contained a sharper tone, much more dangerous.

I turned to him, eyes blazing with desperation to get out of this trap. "Don't you see?! He could kill me. He owns me, body and soul! I'm nothing more than a servant preparing the sacrifice for him. The only way I can die is by his hands. And one day he will kill me. I am nothing in the eyes of Jashin! Nothing but a slave to him." I spat the words out, glaring at the situation that I had gotten myself into.

"A slave…" He murmured, trailing off as he thought for a bit. I returned to looking out into the rain, trying to see if Hidan's eyes were watching me even here. "Tell me about that bastard, Hidan," He said finally, glowering as he said the name of Asuma's killer.

"Do not insult the High Priest." It slipped out again and I threw my hands over my mouth, eyes wide with surprise from both of us. Damn these reflexes!

"The what?" He asked, eyes blazing as he realized that I'd defended Hidan.

I paused for a second before answering, unsure of what he would do. "Hidan is the High Priest of Jashin, the most favorable under his gaze. Hidan was granted with immortality by Jashin so that he could continue his work. And now I have been burdened with the same curse…" I trailed off, staring out the window again.

Shikamaru stood up, moving towards the door to go back to his room. "He's gone by now," I said, staring at the birds fly above Konoha, fighting to fly through the downpour. "He escaped after I completed the ceremony." I looked back at Shikamaru, who'd frozen. It wasn't often that something caught him by surprise, but when it did, it was like someone had pulled the carpet out from under him.

"He's gone, but he's still waiting for me." I added the last part as more of an afterthought for myself, a reminder that I could never be free. I shuddered despite the amount of blankets covering me and drew them closer. I could almost feel Hidan watching me like he had in the cave. I couldn't see him, yet he knew my every movement.

"What do you mean he's waiting for you?" He asked, standing at the door, hand around his IV so he could wheel it around with him.

"He will always be waiting for me to join him. For me to lose control and surrender myself completely to Jashin-sama. That's what he wants. He knows that won't be able to keep the bloodlust down for long. He's waiting for me to make a mistake, to leave Konoha and join him." I could see him in my mind as I sat in that hospital bed. I shivered, clutching at my sides. "He's just waiting for me. Waiting forever."

Shikamaru stared at me, unsure of what to do. "I'm sorry, Shikamaru. I'm sorry that I set him free. I'm sorry I became like him." Shikamaru nodded before he walked out the door and left. I looked out the window of the hospital, watching the messenger hawks beat savagely against the rain.

* * *

"Shikamaru said Hidan's waiting for you. Is that true?" I turned sharply to see Naruto standing in the doorway. I nodded, unable to say anything. I barely registered as he set a bouquet of flowers down on the table next to me. He must have gotten them from Ino… She was going to hate me.

"Are you really unable to fight it? Isn't there anything that you can do?" I sighed, shaking my head to clear my head of thoughts and respond to his question. I couldn't focus. He had a cut on his hand, the blood was light, but still. Blood was the link to the ceremony. If I just had a little… I shook my head again, clearing it of the morbid thoughts.

"Sakura, I will help you through this. I will never let Hidan or Jashin capture you. I will make sure to help you." I smiled as he pulled me into a hug, returning it sadly. I could never let him see the truth. It would kill him to see that he'd failed already.

_They've already captured my soul. They already own me. There's nothing I can do._

Awhile later, another bouquet of flowers came, this time from the Inuzukas. I smiled, smelling the cosmos that were so artfully arranged. Good old Kiba, always brightening my room. He'd always known how to make me smile. He apologized on his note, saying that he'd had to leave on a mission so he wouldn't see me.

Kiba and I, we weren't romantic, but we understood each other on a completely different level. We'd both experienced what it was like to grow up without a father. And that just made us understand each other. Feeling that I lacked a good male friend and looking for a prospective husband, Kaa-san had shoved me at the Inuzuka, thinking I had the best chances with him. I had always aimed high, going for the Uchihas, but she knew it wasn't realistic, breaking into a clan like that.

So we'd grown up together, him being my first friend, eventually followed by Ino. We'd never really developed into anything other than good friends, borderline siblings. We'd drifted a bit once we entered the academy and I'd seen his frustration when I expressed interest in Sasuke, but he was still like my brother.

Inhaling the flowers, I smiled and sat back, wondering how his mission was going.

* * *

I was discharged later that afternoon, since there was nothing really wrong with me. Nothing would ever be wrong with me again. Shizune had asked questions, which I'd been able to dodge this time, but it was only a matter of time before Shikamaru or Naruto told Tsunade.

I walked quietly through the rain, moving towards the Memorial Stone. Sitting down, I traced the kanji of the names along the stone, tears slipping out of my eyes. Deceased names pressed their souls against me through my fingers, imprinting the invisible ink on the stone on my hands. How many more names would I add to this stone? "Hey, Sakura." The voice came from behind me, but I didn't bother checking who it was.

"I almost added Shikamaru's name to the list the other day," I said, leaning my forehead against the cold stone. Jashin, what had I been doing? My eyes were consumed by the kunai scratches, the names reaching out for recognition.

"But you didn't," The man behind me said, sheathing his book so the words didn't completely smear in the rain.

"But I almost did. If it wasn't for Shikamaru knowing what was going on, he'd be dead and I'd be…something. They can't kill me now after all. Imprisonment then?" I paused, pushing myself upright to continue tracing the names on the stone. "What do I do, Kakashi-sensei? What if I kill somebody else? What if I can't control it? Then I'll be no better than Hidan and the rest of Akatsuki." I clutched at my sides, tears running freely down my face now. "Jashin-sama's going to eat me alive. I don't know what do."

"Sakura, I won't let you kill anyone because of this." Kakashi ran his hand over Obito's name, sighing slightly. "Have a little faith in yourself. You know to protect your teammates and your village. You won't let them down." He extended an arm around my shoulders and pulled me to chest, enveloping me in a hug. "Sakura, I believe in you as much as I ever believed in Naruto or Sasuke. You'll be fine. You've grown into a wonderful kunoichi. You will survive this."

I hugged him back, sobbing into his clothes. For that second, I clung to the belief that everything would be okay. That maybe I could survive Jashin. That maybe I wouldn't add any names to the list of dead shinobi. It was probably stupid and hopelessly optimistic, but at that moment I needed to cling to that belief. I don't know how long I sat their crying or simply hugging him, but by the time I'd finished, it was almost dark.

I sighed, standing up after I'd wiped my eyes. "Goodnight, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi waved without looking as he continued tracing the names of the dead. Walking away, I smiled as I heard Kakashi. "Hey Obito, I brought you the newest copy of Icha Icha…"

My walk home was mostly quiet, peaceful even. Reaching the market, I stopped for a second, frozen to the spot by a smell. People were rushing about this way and that. Shopkeepers were closing up shop, shinobi were returning, people were chatting under umbrellas. Most importantly…Someone had cut themselves on something. Someone was bleeding. I fiddled with a kunai, desperately longing to go after the smell, the taste in the air, the blood. My senses were wild, making every step away from the blood extremely difficult.

I leaned heavily against a post, trying to regain what little strength I had to get out of there, I fiddled with kunai, cursing slightly as I nicked my finger with it. Looking down, there was no wound, just a small spot of blood. I did it again, watching this time. The wound healed near instantaneously, barely giving off any blood. _You're immortal, Sakura. This is the gift and the curse that you bear._

I exhaled, clenching my jaw as I walked away along the fence, away from the blood. Every fiber in my body was screaming to go back, but I kept walking, ignoring Jashin's call in my blood. If I answered it, I would be no better than Hidan.

I reached my home, opening the door. "Kaa-san?" I called out, walking up through the house.

"Sakura? Is that you?" Came my mother's sweet voice. I smiled slightly, hearing her voice. It was so normal, so wonderful after the last several days of fear and panic. "How are you feeling?"

"Yes, they released me from the hospital today. And I won't be back there anytime soon," I said, smiling as I moved towards my mother's voice. Walking into the kitchen, I hugged my mother before stealing a carrot she'd been about to slice. Her own pink hair was tied back in a ponytail, revealing her slightly wrinkled face, but she was still beautiful for her age. "I'm feeling a lot better too. Tsunade-sama patched me up, so I should be just fine."

"Honey, are you sure you're okay?" I turned to my mom. I couldn't tell her about Jashin and Hidan. She's freak out, maybe even kick me out of the house. If there was one thing my mother was against, it was death.

Ever since my father had died as a shinobi, she'd hated the idea of death. That was why she was so worried when I started going to the academy, but eventually, she pacified herself because I also became a medic. If I ever told her about Jashinism, she would murder me herself. She'd find a way to somehow.

"Yep, I'm fine," I said, bouncing up to my room in an effort to look normal. "I'll be skipping dinner for tonight, Kaa-san. I'll eat in the morning." She yelled an affirmation before I shut the door behind me and settled down on my bed. I sat down on the edge, holding my head in my hands. Jashin, what was I going to do?!

I fell back onto my bed, sighing heavily as I hugged my pillow. I hated this. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was. Tears soaked my pillow quickly as I choked back sobs, choked back cries of anguish. My normal life was shattering beneath my fingers and I couldn't do anything about it.

But finally, sleep overtook me.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**Thanks for reading, guys! And onto the pun for this chapter!**

**The J Team- The "A" Team**


	3. Chapter 3: It's The Blood

**Author's Notes:**

**Hello again! Here's another chapter for all of you to enjoy!**

**Thanks to _Guest, The-Real-Princess-of-Wolves, I is a person, _and _Hannah _for reviewing. Thanks to _OokamiKing, Deranged Lunatics, 3HaH3, violentblossom, _and _Crystalbutterfly04 _for following this story! And finally, thank you to ****_OokamiKing, Deranged Lunatics, 3HaH3, _and _ironjaw _for adding this to your Favorite Stories list. You people are all wonderful and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

**This is a response to _Guest_'s comments. The first part. I actually agree with you for the most part on this point. However, I believe that Tsunade always tries to assume the best in the Konoha shinobi, shown especially through her interactions with Naruto. However, I feel like this would be exacerbated, especially with Sakura because she sees the girl more or less like a daughter. Tsunade would probably trust Sakura's words for the most part, but would reevaluate her after a day or two to see how fit she was for shinobi detail and if they needed to take extreme action. So, your concerns have been noted and thought about. But also for the sake of moving the plot along without her being trapped in the hospital for seven chapters, I needed her to get her out of there. Thanks for your review.**

**Moon: Ino, do the disclaimer.**

**Ino: No way. This is Sakura's story. If you bring me into it then I'll end up miserable just like her.**

**Sakura: Hey! Fine, this is my story so I'll do the disclaimer. Ple-**

**Ino: MOON DOES NOT OWN NARUTO!**

**Sakura: Hey! Aren't you going to do something?!**

**Moon: I asked her to do it anyway. I don't see the problem... Sakura, put away the kunai. Put away the kunai! Shit!**

**Ino: Sakura and Moon are going to be busy for awhile so please proceed to reading the next chapter in which the lovely me makes an appearance. I know, this will be the best chapter yet!**

**So finally, please read, review, and enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 3: It's The Blood

Sakura's POV

"You have failed me, Sakura. You have denied me sacrifice,"_ The voice echoed through the cavern, bringing me to my knees as I trembled. The voice was everywhere, rebounding along all the walls, yet it seemed as if there was no origin to it. The darkness surrounded me, carefully leaving me no visibility to what was around me. The voice could be anywhere, its owner breathing down my neck, covering my scent with death._

"_But I have done nothing wrong," I whispered back to whatever was there, voice trembling slightly as I tried to quell the rising terror. I looked up, Naruto peering down at me through the hole. He was smiling, relief evident on his face. He motioned with an arm for me to come up, but I shook my head, knowing it would only be worse if I was up there. If I was free, who knew what I would do?_

"You have failed…"_ The voice insisted, its words scratching my ears. The voice was smooth, flowing through the cavern easily, yet… it was painful to listen to, sinking painful hooks into my mind as it tried to drag me away into the depths of insanity. I put a hand to my forehead, trying to soothe the ache that the voice had created._

"_Jashin-sama, please have mercy," I begged, hearing Naruto yell to others above me. No. They couldn't come down here. They couldn't. Something landed next to me. Naruto. "Get out, Naruto. You have to get out!" I insisted, eyes widening in panic. No! If Jashin-sama found them! Naruto looked at me strangely, not quite understanding the reality of the danger. Stupid, dense Naruto! "I said get out! Now!" I climbed to my feet, grabbing the sides of his arms, trying to make him understand. "You have to leave! You have to get out of here!" My voice was growing more panicked, terror lacing the tone. _

_Someone else landed next to me. Shikamaru. "Get out of here. He's down here. He won't have mercy on you." Shikamaru drew a kunai, huffing slightly in amusement as he murmured something about troublesome women. Why didn't he understand?! He should have known, should have been aware of everything that's happening! He should have known!_

"_We're here to save you Sakura-chan. We'll protect you from whatever this is," Naruto said at last, broadly grinning. I could barely make out the movement in the creeping darkness. He put his hands behind his head in a lax manner, his face slightly obscured as a something blacked out the sunlight._

_Someone else jumped down. "It'll be alright, Forehead!" Ino brightly said with a smile, drawing a row of senbon easily. "We're here to bust you out!" No one but me seemed to be aware of the darkness surrounding us, of the danger that threatened to overwhelm all of us. They couldn't see and I could barely see outlines._

"Sacrifice them to me. I will give you this last chance, Sakura."_ The voice rebounded against the walls, attacking my ears with its inhuman voice. I covered my ears, looking around wildly for its owner. _"Sacrifice them."_ The voice was just as loud, eating at my mind. I gasped, falling to my knees, pressing the palms of my hands into my ears to try and somehow dampen the sound. I had to get rid of it. Had to get the reverberations out of my head. I couldn't. I couldn't sacrifice them! No!_

"_I can't…" I whispered, eyes wide as I stared at the ground. "I can't do it…"_

"_Sakura, what's wrong?" A different voice, Choji had somehow managed to squeeze through the hole. "Are you okay?" it was easy to hear the concern in his voice, feel the sympathy that had always accompanied the sweet boy._

"_Can't you hear him? Can't you hear his voice?" I asked, shuddering as if he was breathing down my neck._

"_Sakura, what are you talking about? Whose voice? We're the only ones here," Ino said, exasperate at her apparent lack of understanding. No one understood._

_"The voice of Jashin," I whispered, picking a kunai from my weapons pouch. "His voice is everywhere. And... I must obey it." The defeat in my tone was obvious as I felt my will breaking under the stress. Shikamaru backed up, motioning for the others to do the same. He knew what was coming and I was helpless to stop it. He knew what I had to do, had experienced it himself. "Get out of here," I said one last time, weakly trying to back up, to disobey Jashin for a few seconds longer, to give them time to get out._

"Sacrifice them to me, Sakura,"_ The voice, Jashin's voice, stated again, demanding what I wanted to do least. But… I had no choice. His voice pushed me onwards, pushing me to the brink of insanity. Maybe I'd already fallen over. Maybe I was already insane for all I knew._

_I stood up, kunai clutched with white knuckles. "I'm sorry," I whispered, unable to disobey any longer. His call was pulsing in my blood, pushing me forward. I leapt forward at Ino, the closest one, and attacked. It wasn't much of a fight. I was used to this darkness, she wasn't. And the attack had caught her off guard. I opened a scratch along her stomach with ease, making her cry out slightly._

_Such weakness. Jashin-sama would never tolerate it._

_She._

_Was._

_Weak._

_I licked the blood on her kunai almost eagerly, feeling it settle on my tongue like lead before I swallowed it, letting it slide down my throat slowly. "Choji, get Ino out of here now," Shikamaru ordered, running towards me. Somehow the two were able to get up the tunnel, leaving me with only two threats remaining. Two targets now._

_I split both my palms with a kunai, reaching down to draw the circle. Shikamaru caught my wrists easily, but was unable to use his most reliable tactic to keep me still, putting him at a disadvantage. I glared at him. "Do not deny Jashin-sama a sacrifice. You will only bring more pain upon yourself." I kicked upwards, amplifying my leg with chakra. He went flying back towards the wall, unable to dodge my foot in our close quarters. Reaching down, I finished the circle and the triangle with ease._

"_Jashin-sama, accept this sacrifice from your humble servant so that you may grow in power." The pledge was simpler this time, easier now without too many distractions. I raised the kunai slightly, to find that I could not move my hand. I yanked at it, growling when I found it stuck within the fingers of my former teammate._

"_I came to save you, Sakura. I won't let you be a slave to him any longer," Naruto said next to me as he held my wrist. His eyes were hard with a useless determination. How could he even think he'd be able to free me?_

"_I will always be a slave," I said, grabbing his hand, forcing him to plunge the blade into my heart._

* * *

I woke up panting, terror slowly slipping away as I realized that I was in bed and not back in the cavern. I hadn't killed anyone, hadn't done anything. I sat up, detangling my legs from the sheets. A fine sheen of sweat covered my forehead, plastering hair to my face. I breathed heavily, wiping hair from my face with shaking fingers. I had to remind myself that she wasn't dead, I hadn't killed her. It was only a nightmare.

"About time you woke up, Forehead." I turned to see Ino lounging in my room, twirling a senbon in her hand absentmindedly as she waited for me to finally wake up. She was smirking at me, brushing blond hair out of her face. "How was dream land? Looked to be a bit of a rough one last night." There she was, alive. I hadn't killed her. She was perfectly fine.

Ino was alive.

Not dead.

Her blood was not stuck to the inside of my throat.

"Ino…What are you doing here?" I asked, still remembering her terrified face from my nightmare. And no one had told her about Hidan yet. No one had told her that Asuma's murderer was still on the loose. I had released his murderer, resurrected him in all sense of the word. I had to tell her. Jashin, she was going to hate me.

"Well, since you're out of the hospital, I thought we could go visit Shikamaru. He was just discharged this morning, so he should be at the Naras'. I even brought cookies! I figured we could watch the clouds if the rain lets up or we could double team him at shoji." I shook my head in negation, avoiding eye contact in whatever way possible. My eyes chose to rest on the picture of Team Seven that rested on my bedside table. Why couldn't I be my younger self again, away from all this?

"I can't… sorry." I drew my knees under my chin, hastily tacking on the apology.

"Come on, it will only take a bit," Ino persisted, standing up with her basket of cookies in hand. She obviously liked him, was worried for him. What would she think when I told her I killed him? Would she kill me... or try to at least? "He's my teammate, I have to. And he's your friend too." She sighed in exasperation, probably assuming I had taken a page out of Shikamaru's book and was just being lazy.

"I can't go back there. I'm sorry. The Naras wouldn't allow me there anyways," I said, knowing that I had to tell Ino what happened, what I'd done. This wasn't something I could hide. As much as I wanted to, she had the right to know. And she would eventually find out, I just had to wait for her to ask.

"Sakura, are you okay?" She asked, coming nearer to me with a guarded expression. She'd finally picked up on the frozen posture, the unnatural solemnity I'd woken it. I didn't answer, knowing that I couldn't answer that truthfully. "What happened?" She finally amended, looking at me carefully. And here it came.

"I attacked Shikamaru… and I killed him." The words caught in my throat slightly, coming out thick and practically unintelligible. Ino reeled backwards, dropping her basket on the floor. the cookies flew out all over the floor, rolling away. Hurt was written all over her face as she looked at me, a combination of fear and anger present in her eyes. I spoke quickly after that, knowing I had to explain quickly. "I had to sacrifice him. I had no choice. It wasn't my fault!" I shouted out quickly, leaning towards her as the words spilled out.

"Sakura, what do you mean sacrifice? What are you talking about? Shikamaru's alive!" Ino asked, sitting down heavily. Her hands were shaking, terror present as she tried to quell the idea that it could be possible. She looked at me with disbelief, shaking her head from side to side. "What do you mean you had no choice?!"

"Jashin-sama is not forgiving," I murmured, hugging my knees to my chest.

"Jashin?" She paused for a second, searching in her mind to find where she recognized it. "Jashin?!" her voice shot up on octave as she registered the name, startled. "Hidan's pagan god?! Sakura, what the hell are you talking about?! Hidan is dead! Jashin doesn't exist!" she protested, leaning forward, trying to rationalize with me. her voice was steadily getting louder, a telltale sign of panic and disbelief.

"Hidan is far from dead, Ino. He was there… in the darkness. He was there with me." My breath shook slightly, the intense memories of fear and bewilderment catching up with me. "He made me into this, into him. It was not my choice to make." I shivered, drawing the blankets around me.

_ "Well well well, what fine kunoichi do we have here?"_

"What happened to you?" Ino asked, shaking slightly as she watched me. She clenched her senbon harder, evaluating whether or not I was a threat.

"I fell down on hole in the Nara grounds while being chased by Kisame… And then he was there, the High Priest. He showed me Jashin, made me a slave…" I paused, breathing becoming unsteady for a second as I spat out the next words. "He killed me, made me into him," I whispered, tears coming to my eyes. "Then he sent me up to have vengeance for him. I had to sacrifice Shikamaru for what he'd done to Hidan. It wasn't my choice. He made me do it…" I paused slightly, trying to regain whatever composure I could. "And then he just left. He's out there. He's just waiting for me."

"The High Priest? Hidan? He's out there?" Ino's breath came quickly as she hyperventilated. She put a hand to her mouth, trying to disguise her shock at the overflow of revelations. This was a lot to take in for her. It had to be.

"I'm sorry, Ino. I set him free." Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, guilt manifesting itself. "Asuma's killer is free and it's my fault." I rested my forehead on my knees, quietly trying to stop the tears that slipped down my cheeks. "Jashin, Ino. I'm so sorry. I couldn't stop him. He wants me to go after him. I just can't. I can't do this."

"You stupid Forehead Girl." Ino pulled me into a hug. She must have moved at one point I guess. I hadn't heard her, but she was also getting to be a damn good shinobi. I returned the hug, glad to know that my friend was still here. She hadn't abandoned me. Not yet. She ended our hug, looking at me seriously as she pulled herself away. "So what does this mean for you?"

"I'm just like Hidan. I can't die. I stabbed myself in the heart to kill Shikamaru. It was still beating when they pulled it out apparently." i could feel a hysterical smile break out on my face as I tried to cope with all this new information. "I have to sacrifice, just like what Hidan did to Asuma. Just like what I did to Shikamaru... What am I going to do? I can't keep killing people and Jashin will kill me if I don't sacrifice!" Shaking, I tried to calm my hitched breathing, rubbing at my eyes to remove any leftover tears.

"Then just don't. You don't have to kill anybody. It's your choice. I don't know what he did to you, what he did to make you believe in this…thing. But it isn't true. Jashin isn't real." Ino grabbed my arms, making me look at her. And she was lucky. To her, Jashin wasn't real. He was the figment of my imagination, nothing but a nightmare to be blown away.

"Jashin-sama… He owns me… I can't just refuse what he orders," I said, ignoring the last part. I looked away from her, staring at her knees. He was real. He was horrible real.

She put her hand to my face, instantly drawing my eyes to her. The feel of her skin against immediately soothed me, a human anchor to hold on. "Listen to me, Sakura. Jashin. Does. Not. Exist." She looked me straight in the eyes, trying to ingrain her truths in me, trying to chase away the ever present nightmare. But she was wrong. He was out there.

"Then who is doing this to me?" I asked, tears leaking out of my eyes again. The situation was crashing around me, the idea of Jashinism enough to make me a wreck. "I can't control it, Ino. He needs me to kill and sacrifice and I can't say no. It's in my blood, he's under my skin. This body is no longer mine, it's his. I can't do this!" Ino rubbed at the tears, moving them away. She sighed, removing her hand as she stood up.

"Sakura, snap out of it. You're going to be fine. He can't control you. Only you can." She paused, sighing nervously. "Let's go get some ramen at Ichiraku's. Some air might do you good." I nodded, getting up slowly.

I changed into my regular clothes, attaching a kunai pouch to my thigh as habit dictated. I hurriedly brushed back my wild hair, wrapping my hitai-ate around it. "I'm off to Ichiraku's with Ino, Kaa-san!" I yelled as I ran after my friend. She yelled back an affirmation and I shut the door behind the two of us. The rain died down to a drizzle as we were walking, leaving a fresh smell to accompany us. We walked together silently, each lost in our own thoughts, though I could see Ino staring at me through the corner of her eye.

But things changed when we reached the market. I inhaled the smells with delight, the smells of all the fresh vegetables and food. I stiffened as something else caught my nose, something I wish hadn't smelled. My hands stiffened, fingers twitching at the conflicting signals.

Blood.

Someone was bleeding.

_I licked it slowly, savoring the metallic taste._

_Blood dripped out of his shirt, soaking through his flak jacket quickly._

_Blood dripped from the corner of my mouth, but I left it there, knowing there would soon be more._

_I had killed Shikamaru!_

No! I closed my eyes for a second, trying to will away the intense flashback to the battle. So much blood dripping from everywhere. From the pair of us. I held my breath, trying to force away the rising need to go after the blood. My hand twitched, moving towards the kunai pouch on my thigh. I grabbed my wrist with my other hand, trying to control myself. My left foot moved towards the market, nearly tripping Ino. Shit, if I stayed there much longer, I was going to lose it.

"Ino, you have to get me out of here." She nodded, pushing me forward quickly. She didn't even question it, just yanking me forward by the arm. At first, I was slightly resistant, pausing to get a better view of the market, to find the origin of the blood. I could feel the need in my body, pulling me towards the life and the blood. Ino pushed me through the streets, slapping my arm to distract me. The urges calmed after I'd reached a good distance from the market, the accompanying scent all but gone. I let go of my arm, working out the strain in my fingers.

"What was that all about?" Ino asked, eyeing me warily. She had stepped a small bit away, staring at me with apprehension.

"It's the blood. I need the blood to start the ritual. It's getting worse. I need to do a ceremony otherwise I'll go mad." I shivered, looking at her with wide terrified eyes. I must have looked like a child. Like a small, terrified child looking for the monster in her closet. Was this really going to be my life? Was I really going to have to keep doing this? Sacrificing?

"Sakura, you don't have to do anything. You are the one in control…" She trailed off after a second, sensing that the words were falling on deaf ears. "Let's get you to Ichiraku's. They'll be food there, something to get your mind off this. It will help to dull the scent as well," she added on, at least putting a small amount of stock into my words. We walked toward the food stand in silence, both lost in thoughts once again.

I sat down at the counter and numbly ordered beef ramen. Ino got the same and moved to watching me. I held my head in my hands, trying to drown my sorrows with the rain. "What am I going to do, Ino? I can barely go for a walk without it coming after me."

"Yosh! It is my youthful flower!" Ino never got a chance to reply as Lee waved from the other side of the street. Team Gai looked to have just returned from a mission or training, slightly beat up. They smelled of blood. Shit.

"Hey guys! Come and have lunch with us!" Ino cried out, waving her hand wildly. She couldn't smell the reeking blood. It wasn't her fault. She didn't know that they smelled like... like heaven.

Lee sped over, sitting next to us immediately. "A miso ramen!" He shouted, giving a traditional "nice guy" pose. Gai dashed over soon after, ordering his food in a similarly loud outburst. Tenten and Neji followed soon after, ordering their own food quietly. They talked with Ino, leaving me to a kind quiet, except for Gai's occasional outbursts of "Youth!"

I buried my head in my arms, trying to wash away the scent of the blood or at least bury it beneath the smell of ramen. "Sakura-chan, are you feeling alright?" Lee asked in a rare moment of seriousness. His huge eyebrows were knit together in concern. I gave a small smile, touched by the concern. Through all the years I had known him, Lee had always been a nice guy.

"I'm fine. Just shaken up after getting out of the hospital. Lung's still healing and whatnot. Not to mention the panic over fighting Kisame," I said, looking up at his face with a slight smile as I relied heavily on my cover story. Jashin, I was a terrible actress. But I don't think he noticed.

"The flames of your youth are sure to return, my youthful Sakura! And if they do not, I shall run one hundred laps around Konoha on my hands! And if I cannot do that, I will do with a thousand pushups with only one finger. And if…" His voice faded away slightly as I watched his face move, eyes never wavering from the small cut above his eye. I leaned forward slightly, looking at it, observing the solitary line of red. "Sakura?" I heard his voice, slightly muffled. Head wounds always bled a lot. There would be tons of blood if I managed to get him. I just needed one drop. One drop and then I could sacrifice.

_"You feel it, don't you? The bloodlust? That fucking wonderful bloodlust."_

I could hear his voice in my mind, guiding me forward. All I needed was one drop. And then I-

"Sakura!" I blinked, becoming aware of myself. My face was inches away from Lee's, eyes still glued to the cut. Ino had her arms wrapped around my chest, restraining me as she tried to pull me backwards. She slowly withdrew them, watching me carefully. Someone was tightly gripping my wrist. I relaxed my hand, a kunai clattering to the floor. Tenten relaxed the wakizashi that she had at my throat, sighing in relief. I stepped backwards, Neji releasing my wrist. He watched me warily as I backed up. Gai stood behind Lee, unusually stoic as he watched me with what seemed like distrust.

"Sakura?" Lee asked, looking at me with hurt. I had just... I had just tried to kill him.

"I… I… I'm sorry!" I shouted, running from the ramen stand, lunch forgotten. I needed to hide, get away from the blood. I needed to do something about this increasing need to kill. I needed to go to Tsunade, get help from her. I needed to end the bloodlust, satisfy the desire. I needed to sacrifice or surely I would kill someone.

I could sense Gai tailing me, making sure that I was really Sakura Haruno and not Akatsuki sneaking into the village. But to be fair, the only reason I could sense him was because I could smell his blood. When he chose, he could actually be extremely quiet and dangerously serious, especially when someone attacked one of his precious students. Most of the time, it was easy to underestimate him because of extreme quirks, but he was a jōnin for a reason.

I entered the Hokage mansion, panting heavily. I'd slowed considerably, desperately longing to get a taste of Gai's blood to start the ceremony. My feet kept stumbling over each other, body trying to go back and attack Gai. I clutched my left wrist, fingers moving towards my kunai pouch. No! I wouldn't let it happened again. I was going to fix this before it could get any worse.

"Shizune," I called as I stumbled towards her, breathing heavily as I tried with everything I had not to turn around and attack Gai. He was so close. Just one drop. That was all I needed. One drop. Just one drop of- "I need to see Tsunade. I need to talk to her. I just need a couple of minutes with her." Shizune ran over to me, a worried expression imprinted on her face.

"Sakura, are you okay? Do you need help?" I shook my head vehemently and she nodded slowly, eyeing me. No doubt, she knew that was something was wrong after what she'd seen at the hospital. She just didn't know what. "Hokage-sama, you have a visitor," Shizune said solemnly, opening the door to her office. I stumbled in slowly, turning back to Shizune for a second.

"If Gai-sensei tries to come in, do not stop him. But tell him to wash the blood off his upper left arm and his face." She nodded and closed the door behind me, shutting it with a definitive slam. I turned to Tsunade, who was carefully watching me. I was trapped in here with her, forced to confront the issue now.

"Sakura, why are you here?" She asked, putting her bottle of sake away discretely. After Shizune and I had made an effort to hide them, she'd stopped leaving them around, but she also became better at hoarding them.

"Hokage-sama, I need a mission."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**And here are this chapter's book pun! **

**Icha Icha Jashin- Icha Icha**

******I had to go for the classic Naruto series. Rest in Peace, Jiraiya. **


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